"You're on the sidelines, will you play, or sit it out another day?"

I am just a mess. I get myself into these predicaments and later I stop and look back and say, "what the fuck?" Well, here's the goddamn truth, since no one asked and I had to tell myself of my own accord.

I'm sick and tired of being so safe, especially with people. I say things, that comfort me, and I say them to others, and I front something I'm not, and then the light I leave to be seen of me is false. No specifics, no, no, you silly bastards. You're not getting that juicy bit of information. Nonetheless, here I am, all tangled and trapped, by the cage that was my own design, and I need to get free. This means some tough talks, and some realization turned action, and some owning up to the person I should be. "Well darling, I care for you much, but you and I aren't going to be that bit that make it. Far away is not the reach my arms can acquire." "And you, fair lady, what do you see in me?' 'Is this just some silly dance, an attractive tease, a ridiculous pasttime for when we are down, and happen to be around?"

Chuck's goin off the deep end, folks. I swear if I don't crack by morning its coming after coffee for sure.

-C