An Old Writing Stumbled Upon

-I wrote this January 1, 2004
*disregard any typographical errors


"To me,
Did you forget what it meant to live? Apparently, you adult you, who makes your decisions, and no one really listens, because nothing is ever said. Few and far between belie some words you might have said before, and not too sure to even writeare any real and true felt lines that you have come to know. You adult you, you think everything's so much harder, so much further; life so far away. Life didn't stray, it was only you that lost the way. A turn you meant to take, a mistake you meant to make, a truth you called a lie. You adult you, who only knew life by the moment, never a picture, never a story you might someday tell. You left apart the best of choices for yourself to someone else's, lived a hundred lives except your own. You adult you, who seeks adventure, hides from future, aches so much for change. You have to make it, don't you know? Can't stand and feel like it will come if only you can wait. You adult you, who hides your will from cheaper thrills and half-paced motions you think are true cause. True cause must have true struggle, and harder levels; less of leisure, more so measure to the man that you can be. You adult you, who only knew life by the pages, and the stages of your stories. You have to know the end of a page is not the end. You can start again, and press on stronger, with something better; and fall you may but remember to rise again. You adult you, so full of love, below and above; you try so hard to make the whole world love you back. You keep on giving- never stop, and spread the good you know so well. Well like the stars you stared so hard, that shine so true, like you sometimes. You adult you, who sometimes seems so sad. Don't walk away, its nothing easier down that road. You must let go, and then hold on to all that you still have. You adult you, you're just like me, not free in an open cage. Sometimes the rage of loneliness alone can wear down to your soul. You feel so absent of control; feel so without something sacred but you're not, you've got your heart, the only thing that keeps you moving, keeps you humble and so hopeful. You adult you, who swears she's out there, dreaming somewhere, thinking of someone like you. You're right, you know. She is, you'll see, but only if you choose to live instead of be another wandering soul at rest, unrest. Your very best still locked inside, your favorite stars still in your eyes, your best of words still stuck beneath the hands that you so poorly keep. You're bursting heart that falls apart for every time you didn't speak. Your will still weak, for it you did not train to seek. You adult you, who only knew what 19 years could know. So you go on whispering instead of shouts into the air, apart from the glare of determination, now you've let one more moment die. You sleep now but you'll stir again. You don't know, but you'll comprehend. You break, but soon you'll learn to mend all of these lost dreams. And though it seems like all's avail, keep close your aim, keep set you sail. And though it seems like all's a waste, just find some hope, and hither taste sweet success. For within you there lies the best to see; humanity. You adult you, stay true to me."