Some Poems From Early 2006; ENJOY!

A Winter Song

Winter setting, cold and clear.
Into the great gray skies I disappear.
Longing for the big change,
Longing for that big love to take me away.
Or something to rest my head and heart;
They are in need so much to rest.

O hopeless woeful ways of winter,
Forever folding over my wonder;
Wherefore is my purpose made?

My head falls downward as I ponder…
The thickness of the air makes everything unclear.
Some change is due in this wreck of a life,
Some sort of reckoning need take avow;
Yet still here and now do I find
That I do not find myself anymore resolved.

O hopeless woeful ways of winter,
Forever folding over my wonder;
Wherefore is my purpose made?

Will the face of spring, like a red robin sing
All of my aches and ail away?
To this day I wait, and so carefully concentrate,
And yet the clarity I seek is repeatedly unseen.
I go before the fires and I seek a new perspective.
To change my life among these things
Is but my only solid directive.

O hopeless woeful ways of winter,
Forever folding over my wonder;
Wherefore is my purpose made?

To this and these great longings do I guess;
That of myself, and of my workings,
I’ve yet to give my very best.
Since I’ve left out on my own
I’ve come to realize how very far
Away into the years it will be
Until I finally feel at home.

The sadness dissipates my virtues,
And brings me down some depths unwanted,
And yet what mysteries are still to come
Forever press me on and on,
Even if my heart gives in and all my breath is gone.

O hopeful woeful ways of winter,
Forever folding over my wonder;
Wherefore is my purpose made?

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I Saw You Dancing

The last time I saw you, I saw you dancing.
In a spell of wheels spinning and grinning;
Timid, I aware of you who stares,
Yet unmarked measure come prancing vivid airs.
Low and behold, for now I walk off into clouds;
A vision spiraled and aroused by consonant beats.
I claim to change what I claim to own,
And yet as if I go alone, I go unwelcome.
Here is a home for you to call on.
Here is a place you can hang your hat
I had to walk on.
No silence but a constant reason;
A subtle circumstance for my own penance,
When I should not have called you so late.
So late it was, and were I balanced, I would have
Walked upright among the others,
But here I crawl and slobber and choke
On my own words, now come apart.

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O!

O, the future is taking me!
Whispering while all I do is shout and shout.
I look for you, I look for you;
You’re dancing in and running out.

What am I to do?
Carry all this mess with me and live in all this doubt?
People pass on by;
They’re laughing; what’s it all about?

I’m sitting here all sick with worry,
You’re running fingers through my hair;
Telling me a million things through little looks
And I’m still looking for myself in you and
O, I just don’t know anymore.

So I go into my room.
The lights are dim, the walls are cold, the feelings old.
I can’t fall asleep.
Dreams were never made to keep a heart still sinking, soft and cold.

Let me pass you one request.
Don’t go falling in love with me, it’s more than I can stand to see.
When you go into the day,
Remember that the boy you left who’s heart you kept was only me.

I’m sitting here, all sick with worry.
You’re playing tricks on me this time;
Flaunting that you know you’ve got me,
I’m not sure that we’ll make it darling;
And O, I just don’t really know anymore.

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I Know.

I know it’s not so easy.
I know my eyes don’t let it show.
I don’t think you’re supposed to know me.
It might be better if you’d let me go.

But if in the night you need some comfort,
You can use me if it makes you feel better,
Sleep long and dream easy.
I know that it’s not right.
I wish I could be use to someone.
God knows how I’d make it workout,
If ever I knew there were a chance that I could change.

I know I’m hard on you sometimes.
Dissolving hearts are hard to hold.
You can use me if you like,
Just don’t hold on to me so close.
The winter’s coming when warmth is needed.
I’ll spend it cold, when you’ll wish I’d come over.
I cannot give you what you want and wish and need.

I know it’s not so easy,
I know my eyes don’t let you know.
I don’t think you should want to know me.
It might be better if you let me go.

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Looking At My Watch Again.

Try as I may,
The world still arrives by the time of the day.
I still feel the same, though it never quite reveals.
Now I’m caught out on a plank;
The water is deep and the boat’s going to sink,
I’ll jump and see the bottom far before
I even get the time to really contemplate.
These people here, they always divide me.
Pieces of myself strung out before the table,
It’s a shame I don’t ever seem to collect them like they do.

Longing for a presence,
Some peace of mind is my only resplendence,
And now it seems I’ll not be having any such thing.
I do recall, by days and nights,
The simple life to which I set my sights;
I’ve yet to find it, did it leave me behind?
O, how this place feels like a cage,
And no the caged bird does not sing,
Lest we be silent.
So long as there is talking, there is laughter.
Cheating ourselves out of truthful answers;
Those very ones that divide the continents of our hearts.

So I float away in all this wonder.
Spend my days in a constant ponder.
Wondering and following, but still waiting for my freeing.
But have you ever seen a bird to the open cage?
The freedom is unfathomed. We retract in such distractions…
Its that bit of air outside that makes a scare we’d rather not wear.
And fear I do, the days ahead. When this is through, and the music’s dead.
I did not say it had to die, but tell me again how it wouldn’t
If and when our hearts divide?
Sighs and sighs and always goodbye.
I wonder why I even try to say hello.
I’d rather go, where nobody knows who or why I’m there.
At least I wouldn’t fill the air with empty promises
To catch the passersby with pleasant replies.

I am a bit of fellow folk.
I talk and I spit out the same old shit.
It’s all in good meaning, with no meaning really at all.
When we fall, we fall hard.
The ground, or whatever, I have yet to hit.
So I keep falling and fleeing from this and that.
The time presumes my presence well.
The madness with the minutes passing,
While I’m asking why it always ends this way.
It only gets bigger everyday.
Goodbyes are harder, looks are longer;
The things that last only grow stronger.
And here I go again on my own distressing gestures.

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*I hope you have enjoyed these. I wrote none are really connected to each other in any sort of way, nor are they in any particular order. Just a few that even I had not read in a while. If you want to do me any sort of favor in regards to them please let me know which ones were more appealing.