Spun round dizzy from the whirling years
That landed me back in the falling leaves
Of long Falls. How do I pick myself up,
And sort through this confusion I've
Come to feel about myself and everyone?
I'm worried about a heart,
Worried of my own,
And to what extent and what capacity
They will or won't unfold.
Sailed out of serious water to the calm,
But I looked down and the depths were
Greater than I'd ever seen.
If this ship capsizes I'm sure to sink;
Lose myself completely in the abyss
Of heavy seas that I can't understand.

I come from simple folk. We work hard,
Tend to each other in rough, direct manners. 

Never was I given to extremes
In any circumstance; never will be.
I go sweet and easy and hope for a life
That finds that pace and rhythm with me.
Too many hard truths been thrown at me.
Too many ups and downs, cold beds,
Cold love and monumental sacrifice
To bear for the sake of others. It gets hard sometimes...
So what am I to do now? Can I be the lifeboat and the sinking ship
At the same time? I don't know. 

Oh God I just don't know if I can take it again.

Lonely; I'm afraid again of this life I'm in.
I'm trying to be still and quiet. I don't want to pray, I want to do it myself.
God is there, no doubt, but right now
He needs me to stand on my own. I don't want a crutch, want to hold myself up.
Where to be? How to be? Who holds
Rightful claim to this heart of mine?
Whoever it is it must be declared. I'm
Tired of chasing ideals; want to be wanted exactly as I am. No deals, no reformations, no alterations. 

I am wholly what I want to be, plus or minus my own complications, and I'm tired of that not being what somebody wishes to see.

I want to simply be and be simple and that's not finding any part of me so I will crumble momentarily.