4:09

It's four in the morning
I'm stalling, I'm swimming.
Not drunk, not even,
Just locked inside a padded
Room of thought.

Say things I didn't like to say.
Felt turned over, and under.
So goddamn lost now I don't know
Who I am or what I want.
In finding what I thought I
Was searching for

I lost the central point of who I am.
Don't know why that happened.
So goddamn lost now.
I see flashing color behind
Dark, cascaded rouge glowing.
I see peering eyes, cut me easy,
Like a looking glass turned backwards.

I feel memory, in every particle
Of my being. I see no resolution to
This drama of my soul. It's a sickness
Or it must be.
The tempo of my heart changes
Constantly, for the better part of
Each day.

I am water, or I'm downing.
Either way I'm soaked in the thinking
That I'm having, holding on and
Letting go, all at once.
Never mind, it's fine. It's just timing,
And the nature of the heart;
Too many times torn apart.