I have had long hours cast in shadows
Behind blinded windows low lit.
What lay behind them silenced by
The drone of highways, rustling covers
And wood creak floors paced upon.
Brooding as a strong suit, waiting to be
Hidden in the cloak of night's turning,
Where even I can feel some end.
I have counted days of rain and sun,
Seen them all coalesce in fine grace
In their own way, but kept myself hidden,
I do not go out these days.
Though the paycheck serves to cause,
And really I am lucky as such,
The only reward I've gained
Is a bottle for a friend, and long distance
Phone calls to pass some time.
From the moment I've drawn breath
Was given a good life, one that I
Cannot command; there is some
Meaning I've yet to find in this dance,
And every time it rains the walls drip;
The ceiling threatens to cave in.

I've passed miles of empty road,
And the only bliss I see anymore
Are the big fields at sunset, the great
Grazing beasts lazing in the evening hour
As I glide by solemn on a motor bike,
Knowing I must turn around,
But never wanting to.
And where would I go? What to attend?
Spend a long month visiting friends
Scattered about this land like
Monuments? And after, what then?
Board a ship secretly and sail away,
Never to be seen again? What good
Would that cause, for a runaway like me?
I cannot find my way out of this box.
It fractures my structures, it echos
All my sense out of me.
I am locked and I am lost. I do not seek
More advice. I only wish to be at peace,
To be left alone,
Until I am complete.