Part 2

It was that there I found a little peace.
I remember a decision; one so great
That it would shake the very foundation
Of which I'm made. I sat first on the
Crest of a small hill. In my childhood,
I would sled upon it and feel that cool
Beauty scar my face for hours, even after
I would come home, tired and occupied.

I sat and remembered, so vividly, the time
I took in my hand a green leaf, to
Signify the moment I chose you.
I was scared, perhaps frightened by
The idea of your wake, but I tell you,
I didn't want to miss out for a moment
In what it could do.
And now all those years, and all
The adventures I had in that place...
Well, they just don't stack up to
Your arms over your knees preaching
And asking for my hand for once.

You could say I took it for granted.
For that, I'm sorry.
But the green grass beckons my step,
And I descend to a place where
So many things occurred in passing.
Where I first leapt at life, in a most
Awkward way. My favorite things
Were tall trees and stars. I was
Simple then. Didn't grieve, didn't ask
For a price to give. I just became.

I stopped at a picnic table and lit a
Cigarette. I watched the sauntering
Smoke rise, relative and real from my
Hand, mimicking the notions of my
Thoughts and actions. I smelled the
Burn from my adolescence linger,
And I realized that it's all bullshit.
Life is what you make it, only don't
Lie to yourself too much and you'll
Probably stay upright and welcome.

I know that day approaches. I can see
Little light peering through thick
Curtains. And soon I will awake,
Coffee in hand, back porch for the black
Cup with a smoke. I forget my hard work
In the head that swears I'm
Doing it wrong. I should have abandoned
It long ago, but I'm stubborn, quite
Possibly insane, and yet I remain;
To kill time, I'm afraid.