Depressed, Cynical Asshole Syndrome

Everybody thinks I'm a depressing cynical asshole.

It's actually really funny. If you knew me in person, for even a small, personal period of time, you would know the otherwise so much so that to see some of the things I write you would say, "Charlie? No..." Yes. It's true. Aren't we all? Probably, a little,
tiny,
eentsie, weentsie,
little,
baby bit.
Dare I write something up-tempo tonight?
nahhhh.

Why? Oh, no reason. I guess I just feel like being a shit here lately.

Alright, here's an example of my drive for my current temperment.

Lets assume by "girl" I am talking about nearly every girl that I have attempted (interpret that however you like). I'm going to rant for a bit, get a coffee,
Adjust yourself,...
Are yoiu comfortable?
Good.

So I fell in love with this "girl" once, (still with me? Sorry, sarcasm is just one of my forte's) and it ended in shambles.
The End.

...what? You wanted more? A longer story? Well what the hell is wrong with the one I just told you? Oh fine, you want me to be gabby. Why didn't you say so?

...Anyways, so I fell in love with this "girl" and everything went to shit. I can't recall why really, it just did. I mean, I started talking to her all the time, we made plans to hang out and do fun stuff like go to parks and shop at thrift stores and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes, (she didn't always smoke, but I sure did) and even watch a movie or two, but always at her or my place. Those goddamned movie theaters are enough to make you crazy. So, what I mean is, things started out good, and sometimes even great. We'd play the "get-to-know-ya" games and pretty soon I would know their whole story, and I guess they'd know mine. When it gets like this with someone you get to thinking, "hey, its goin' good. I wonder when it'll get a little better." By that, dear friends, I mean... well, you know, kissing and stuff. Late night talks, kissing, spooning, sleeping, and yes, readers, maybe even one day however far down that little road even sex. I must clarify, I really don't care about the sex thing so much. I mean, I am a guy, and yes I like sex, and naked women on a certain level are way better than clothed women. Point is, sex is never my point when it comes to women whom I am romantically inclined. I digress. So, we get to that point, and then... "poof." It all just crumbles before my eyes. What started out as the greatest love story of all time transforms into a girl with her new "one step-away from homosexual sensitive buddy/ guyfriend." It's like the same time the trigger in my head says, "oh shit, she's not going for it," the trigger in her head said, "he's a really fun, nice guy to be around." No kiss, no love, no shit. So I threw the dice out there and hit craps. I know that wasn't an entertaining story, and you should have stuck to the first one. It would have saved you time and I would have been in bed by now. You see, this is the kind of shit that comes out of me when I'm sober. I am much more graceful when I'm drunk.

Of course, I could site specifics to no end, but who the hell cares? They are all off with the people they "want" to be with, meanwhile I sit here as the "friend when my boyfriend isn't around" guy. Ladies, do me a favor: if you fall into this bracket, kindly detach yourselves from me in the ways of your good guy friend that is almost good enough but doesn't quite cut it. I don't need anymore "falied attempts" hanging around; I don't need anymore "girlfriends" who I just want to kiss and say intimate things to without pissing somebody off and with them wanting it from me.

There are exceptions to every rule, mind you. Not all the women in my life fall into this category, but I tell you, alot of them do.

They say, "too much conversing with a woman tends to dull a man's wit." By they I mean OF MONTREAL, so take that as you wish.

-C.A. Dominick