We'll Never Sleep, But God Knows We'll Try...

It's nearly 12:30 and of course I can't get a fucking wink. Thinking... hmm, do I do that much? Nahhh. Thinking about all those little twinklings that cause the thinking in the brain that is my own. "Of what, Charlie?" you might ask. Well, I'm thinking about my leaving come three weeks from today. I'm thinking about music and if I believe I can even still hack it anymore. I'm thinking somedays I love what I write and somedays its shit with sugar on top. Go figure, right? I would just have to turn into a goddamn cynic by now. Really, though, I never know what to do. I have realized one thing for certain: people who have blogs that constantly bitch about themselves are the most annoying fuckers on the planet. Guess what I've been doing all along...? Yup, you got it; bitching. Pissing and moaning my time away with the keyboard and its lovely tapping sound, far into the latenight. Well, fuck it. Lets talk about other stuff.

Stuff........

Shit.

Like what? I guess I'm an expert at complaining and nothing else.

How about a blow for blow of my daily activities? Alright. Sometime in the am, (varying from 6am to 10am) I wake up, throw on grubby clothes, and proceed to whatever house I am supposed to be destroying or building on. When I get there I am usually alone, all day long, and since I have the attention span of a gnat end up spending more time changing the cd's than doing actual work. Nevertheless, I get my eight or so hours in, and go home. After a shower I like to take the bike out and give it a good exercise. This weekend it will be Springfield. I'm going to see a friend and have some booze. Hopefully I've get blitzed and remember only the earlier part of the day. That's my favorite way to wake up. Seriously though, its good to see my friends in Springfield. Its not very often and they are good folks. Plus, they are completely devoid of the usual drama that can and does ensue on a regular basis around here. Fucking stupid drama. I should know better by now. I'm 22 and still just as sucked in as I was when I was 17. That's Joplin for you.

Do you ever read your horoscope? I do all the fucking time. it always has some bullshit in it about love and meeting soulmates and spicy romances, and all that other crap. What a load. I haven't had sex in a year. A whole fucking year and some change, but according to my horoscope I should be waiste deep in naked women and passionate romantic ecstacy. Still... I have to read the goddamn thing or my day is shot. Now, is that not the most ridiculous thing, or what?

Here's a few quick quirks: I used to sell crackpipes. Yes, you heard me, crackpipes. Alright, so we didn't actually call them crackpipes; their actual title was "incense burners." Yeah, whatever. It was really funny too, because you have to speak in a sort of code. So I fucked with a guy one time. He was like, "can I see that one down there?" And I said, "sure." Then he looked at it from different angles, mumbling here and there, and he said, "looks like it'd be a pretty good piece," and in turn I said, "a pretty good piece for what?" He stood there, blank looking, and said, "well, you know, for, uh, for you know, uh, what you use it for..." Fucking idiots. I hated that about working there. It wasn't so bad, except for selling drug paraphenallia(sp?). You would have these old, nicely dressed men come in, looking like they could be someone's nice old grandpa or something, and then they would come up to the counter and drop three transvestite movies in front of me. Fetishes, I tell you. There are some weird motherfuckers out there. Truthfully, I only have one little fetish. I like big boobs. Call me crazy, but more than a handful is fun to me. Sure, that may make me sound like some jock prick or something, but whatever. Everyone has their particulars. It's not like I'll only date girls with big breasts, or something. On the contrary, I have yet to date a girl whose breasts are bigger than a c-cup. It's not what I look for in a woman either. I think of it as a nice, added bonus to an already wonderful lady, theoretically speaking, of course. Jesus, i sound like I'm covering my bases or something. Maybe I'm afraid a lady I know and may like is reading this. Maybe I'm just being stupid; yeah, that's probably it.

I keep looking at my clock and the minutes keep rolling by. Even if I lay down right now, I still won't fall asleep for another 30 min. or so. It sucks. I think it stems back to my strip-club days. I wouldn't even get off work until 2-2:30am. After that, depending on the night, I would stay up even later to have coffee with friends at Perkins to unwind. Then I wouldn't go to bed sometimes until the sun was up. Yeesh. It's not as severe nowadays, but the late night always lingers in my mind; my bones. Something about the night, you know? Like things are gonna happen. I think more does happen. Lonliness sets in at night. Sex happens (most of the time) at night. Phone calls, drinking, movies, dinner, drives, music, friends, and so on and so forth. The fuckin' night, man. Well, I've had no phonecalls. Sex is a definate no, (and we all know why.) No movies, no music, my friends are all sleeping, I skipped dinner (since I'm on that "be poor and don't eat" diet) I drove my bike home, but the kind of drives I like are accompanied by music and my car is out of commission. I do have lots, and lots, and lots of booze though. I guess I know what I'll be doing in the next five minutes...

Cheers,
-C