The Everlasting Gobstopper of Conversations

Amy says:
Come play Zoolander!
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
huh?
Amy says:
You helmet picture, you have a Zoolander face.
Amy says:
you=your
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
ahhhh, i like that.
Amy says:
yes, very nice.
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
Zoolander=good time
Amy says:
oh yes. We could have a walk off.
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
old school rules?
Amy says:
hehehe...
Amy says:
how are you this evening?
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
flashing bits and pieces of optimism...
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
its a change
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
from the latter
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
er, previous
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
yeah
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
thats it
Amy says:
that's good to hear. I know what it's like to be all moody and...stuff.
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
well, bad moods are better than no moods
Amy says:
Yes, and to experience both is to appreciate both. which I'm sure I've said before.
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
new post, if you're into that sort of thing...
Amy says:
Yeah, I am sometimes. I have a Charlie habit.
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
careful, it will disappoint, maybe...
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
ooh, you better break that, its worse than smoking
Amy says:
I thought you said you were feeling better?
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
i am. can't you tell?
Amy says:
Charlie pants.
Amy says:
It started out slightly optimistic, then ended a little on the self deprecating side. Not that it wasn't well written though.
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
well, well-writtenness is of no concern, but thanks. Basically, its me catching myself being a drama queen with myself and realizing shits not so blegh. I am in a dry spot momentarily. I need some excitement
Man my motorcycle looks cool says:
some out of the ordinaryness
Amy says:
It just so happens, I heard you were going on some nutso six week motorcycle trip. My guess is it will be pretty eventful.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
yeah, thats all heresay. people think I'm some kind of wildman-bastard or something; weird hih?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
huh?
Amy says:
hang on..
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
roger
Amy says:
you know, I'm a bastard. totally for reals.
Amy says:
And a red headed stepchild too.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
yeah... but its never very satisfying calling a girl a bastard
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ahh, now THAT is more like it
Amy says:
Yes, definitely. More fitting.
Amy says:
I am having writer's block the last few days. Nothing new to put in my blogola.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
don't force it.
Amy says:
Oh, and there was this weird guy on myspace who I have exchanged a couple of messages with...well, I noticed he was subscribed to my blog...and then...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ebb and flow, seniorita
Amy says:
I gave him my other blog address.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ahh, so you are now exposed!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
uh oh...
Amy says:
Well, I have always thought he was a little off. And he said that he was from Austin, TX. BUT his ISP says Georgia.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
hmm....
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
the liar!
Amy says:
I don't really care. But he is lyyying!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
shall me stone him?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
*we
Amy says:
oh yes, absolutely.
Amy says:
I've had quite a bit of Sauvignon Blanc this evening.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
he will be made a martyr to all liars, and an example of what happens
Amy says:
Shitty sauvignon blanc...if I knew who brought it to my party, I would stone them.

Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i think i will have some of the lovely cocktail; i have been without, and life is nearly unbearable
Amy says:
hmmm, what sort of cocktail?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ANYTHING!
Amy says:
I would share my SSB if you were closer.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
a-l-c-o-h-o-l-i-c
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ahh, I think I'll go for the booze
Amy says:
I don't think you are.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
no, but we all have goals, right?
Amy says:
this is true. you know, I was never much of a drinker until the last year or two. And just wine.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
oh man, if we lived near each other we would be the most entertained drunks ever; its probably good we're far away
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
our sober friends would unfriend us
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
we would be the rage of all pubbery and winery and whiskery and drinkery
Amy says:
you are so right. I feel like we would probably sit for hours outside, smoking..being goofy and deep. Then passing out.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
we would be as deep as the glass in our hands, and may it be a DEEP glass, to thirst the conscience of alcoholic madness
Amy says:
Sacramento has some wonderful pubs. We could hit them all...I might already - but with you by my side, we'd be a force to be reckoned with! or what ever they say. haha...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
produced, of course, by our conjoined efforts to race this world unsober
Amy says:
Seems like a noble goal to me.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
...i think the only adventure truly left in the world
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
men used to explore new land, used to wage war in the name of God; used to discover new animal and plant life and document ancient history; now... man must drink to his end, and see what cane be done inbetween
Amy says:
you should put that in your blog. It's quite quotable.
Amy says:
unless it's a quote and the SSB has gone to my brain.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
I will put this entire cockamamy conversation on my blog. Amy, you are being broadcast via Charlie's blog, how do you feel?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
it is my words, my dear.
Amy says:
That feels fabulous. I may even feel a little tingle in my toes.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
tingle away, darling; tingle away...
Amy says:
Live, from Charlie's blog, a very delightful and un-angsty conversation between Charlie and an old lady from California. (Who looks lovely for her age.)
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i am smiling, and i don't know why. It could be the booze, it could be you, or the entirety of this episode; i don't care, a smile's a smile to me
Amy says:
I'm laughing. I'll one up you. ha!
Amy says:
ok, I'm not an old lady. Don't put that in your blog. That sounds horrendous.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
old lady, sure, right, and the pope shits in his hat
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i just saved it
Amy says:
ok, just call me what my sister calls me - hot tits. ha!
Amy says:
grrreat.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
you're a gem, and a foxy young minx. better?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i like sweet-tits better myself
Amy says:
Yes, I certainly like the sound of that.
Amy says:
Yeah, sweet tits. Very nice...
Amy says:
I'm going to make her rename me. It's only fair. Besides, sisters shouldn't reference other sisters tits.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
It's like sweetarts said fast. Kind of life how "peanuts" sounds like penis. Say it aloud fast right now...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
funny, eh?
Amy says:
Please don't say sweet tarts...I have...an addiction.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
would you like some salty peanuts?
Amy says:
As for the penis peanuts...you can talk about those all you want!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ahh, sorry.
Amy says:
hehe...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
alright, Planters or Frito Lay?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
or... Beernuts?
Amy says:
A little a both. or all thrree
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
... forgot how wonderful whisky can be...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
choose
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
one...
Amy says:
Hmmm, I choose....planters.
Amy says:
No wait, Frito Lay!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
is that your final answer?
Amy says:
Yes, I suppose.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
boom!
Amy says:
that was very anti climactic.
Amy says:
hehehe...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
I couldn't think of how to spell out the "wrong-buzzer" buzz
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhnt>
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i suppose.
Amy says:
I was wrong? How could I be wrong?
Amy says:
I'm never wrong!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
dreadfully scary sound it is
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
choices... you know.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
PLANTERS!!!!
Amy says:
Damn it! I am so LAME right now!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
FRITO-LAY IS DEVIL!

Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
NO!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
JUST YOUR TASTE IN NUTS!!!

Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
thats all, really.
Amy says:
uh oh, my SSB is gone. I have to go get a refill. brb
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i will smoke... plz hold the line.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
...
Amy says:
unfair. I'm trying to not smoke.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
bullshit. smoke, its necessary for alcoholics to smoke, i've been reading up on it...
Amy says:
I can't. I have goonies like asthma.
Amy says:
I have to suck on an inhaler. It's my nerd stick.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
poppy-cock.
Amy says:
you are a wicked bad influence young man.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
don't admit that out loud, this is public, remember?
Amy says:
all of this too? damn.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
I know, the devil runs through me like the whisky
Amy says:
Now I'm going to become some sort of freaky agarophobic housebound old lady.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
the whole shi-bang, sweet........ness.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
don' do it
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
it won't be as fun
Amy says:
this is a pretty firey little statement here, "I know, the devil runs through me like the whisky"
Amy says:
fiery?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
yeah
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
or, firey?
Amy says:
no, fiery
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
hell, I dunno
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ahh
Amy says:
or fierce.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
so much for me writing...
Amy says:
i like fierce.
Amy says:
I didn't say you were fired.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
are you the boss? I though Charles was in Charge>
Amy says:
I just checked and fiery means, "Feverishly hot and flushed"
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
whoa
Amy says:
there were some other definitions too, but that was the only one I read.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
badaboom
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
now i smoke?
Amy says:
ok, fine. Easily excited or emotionally volatile; tempestuous: a fiery temper.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
can you contain yourself for twoandahalf minutes or so?
Amy says:
yiis
Amy says:
I'll just write a blog.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
the n I sh all re-turn
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
see, now that was only 1 and one half Billie Holiday songs worth of smoke.
Amy says:
Well, it was enough time for me to read through that entire conversation of ours.
Amy says:
And you know what? It was STILL funny.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
how is it progresssing?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
yesssss
Amy says:
It seems to be going well. How was your cigarette you limey bastard?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
fucking goddamned glorious.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
oh, it was worth it, you red headed stepchild bastard.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
...no satisfactions for the latter
Amy says:
yeah, could probably just be red headed step child.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
word
Amy says:
your tongue just sort of trips over bastard.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
yeah, i think "bastard" is overrated
Amy says:
I say it a lot. That and jerk. Occasionally mother fucker.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ooh, motherfucker is good
Amy says:
yes, especially when it's all one word like that.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
whaddabout fucktard>
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
indeed
Amy says:
See, I'd rather just go straight for retard
Amy says:
jack ass is good.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
yeah
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
but its kind of snide
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i guess thats the idea though
Amy says:
I might be a little snide. Occasionally. It's accidental.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i like low brow profanities myself
Amy says:
ha! That's why I like you...classy Charlie.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
classy as a two-dollar hooker on a wednesday night in a mercury cougar
Amy says:
Ihad a whole thing types..it was pure hilarity. then I deleted it.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
why!?!?!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
shit.
Amy says:
actually, this time it was accidental.
Amy says:
I am lameness. A fucktard, if you will.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
nah, you just need more booze. guzzle that shit until it drips down the chin and you find yourself licking it up with tongue and finger
Amy says:
That is so not classy.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
well, we are in the comfort of our own homes; classy need not apply
Amy says:
That's how you eat fruit in the jungle, NOT how you sip SSB.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
pshhaw.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
if its cheap, does it matter?
Amy says:
I don't think it's cheap. It's just shitty!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ah
Amy says:
craptastic badness I tell you. I did spill a little earlier though, and yes, I did lick it off my hand.
Amy says:
I think that's better for whiskey though.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
see, i think wine is a licking liquid. whisky will get you every way, even through the pores
Amy says:
Ok, well, I could respond to that many different ways. My mind is permanently affixed...to the gutter.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
well, we're all dirty little shits most of the time, we just apply modesty for the masses
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
thats my take.
Amy says:
That's what half of my poetry is about charlieness.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
thas why I luv ya babe
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
http://dominickontherun.blogspot.com/2006/06/if-forecast-calls-for-more-of-this-ill.html
Amy says:
aw, pure sweetness from Missouri. I feel touched...by whiskey guzzlin', big hearted, motorycle ridin', hotness poet.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
just reading it right now, for some reason
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
quit flattering me, its working.
Amy says:
I like that it's working. It's is goodness. ok, reading now.
Amy says:
You are so lucky to have what you have with your da.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
ahh, its tough sometimes.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
we're close, but i think he wants me to be here, and content.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
I am opposed, to say the least.
Amy says:
So when you go back and read things you wrote...how do you feel?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i wonder why i am such a shit now
Amy says:
that was just two months ago. But it seems like a lot longer.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
fucking Bukowski did it, I tell yua
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
alot happens in two months
Amy says:
You are so not a shit Charlie. If you were a shit, I would not be talking to you. I have had my fill of shits. Trust me.
Amy says:
Now I need to catch up on my Bukowski. Or maybe not.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
start with Come On In!
Amy says:
Not that much can happen in two months. If you were a woman, you could just blame it on PMS.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
its his last published book of poems, post-mortem.
Amy says:
but seriously Charlie...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
thats where you get off easy, eh?
Amy says:
you are this deep man. And you're filled with so much...you have this uncanny ability to convey your feelings, (weirdo), and do it in a touching way. You definitely have some major emotions going on, but you know what's up deep inside. You're just finding yourself. And not in that young man sort of way...but in a more philisophical way.
Amy says:
blah blah blah...there, have an essay from me.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
its nice. i don't converse with the types around here; they are a drastic bore.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
actually they are just too young, and don't have the patience to talk about such things
Amy says:
I don't converse with anyone like this. Even people my age. It's just rare, plain and simple. I appreciate it Charlie.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
as do I. It's a shame, the way people never hardly connect, isn't it?
Amy says:
Yes, it really is.
Amy says:
I can't wait for a day when we get to talk and laugh in person. When I don't have to hush my voice so I don't wake the neighbors...oh, and there will be some alcohol involved.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
of course, booze is the third party that is never unwelcome
Amy says:
I swear I'm not a total boozer.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i am. its okay. most people only casually consume,
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
its time to do a signoff
Amy says:
okaaay.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
give me your best last words
Amy says:
no. I am too retarded right now. See that? Last words. "I am too retarded."
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
well, it will do, all the same.
Amy says:
you give me last words.
Amy says:
You're better with them anyway. Charlie Star.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
To all naysayers, to all harborers of ridiculous notions about the consumption of calories, and to all those opposed to the outright efforts of the Pilated Woodpecker and its natural tendencies towards discreet and private life, I say down with your aim!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
Let the beast of time make mockeries of you.
Amy says:
oh no...
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
As for Amy, let her sails set forth into the slow and steady winds of wild and careless days
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
and a little smoking and boozing is in order, if only to preserve the state of humorous satisfaction for the world before
Amy says:
fantastic Charlie. I'm applauding!
Amy says:
You are SO not retarded!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
well, i could be, after a few more years of drinks like this. All the same, you are wonderful. ThankYOU.
Amy says:
no, thank YOU Charlie. You are loveliness in its purest form.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
By the way, did you know I'm allergic to rose bushes?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
I found out tonight.
Amy says:
I didn't know that. I am allergic to all sorts of things...so I know what it feels like. But roses?
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
funny, eh?
Amy says:
Roses are sort of the most overrated flower there is. This just means that someday, I will have to give you a big bouquet of tropical blooms. That won't make you itch.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
simple little daisies will do.
Amy says:
Well, we can start with daisies I guess.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
then its settled.
Amy says:
Yes, it's settled. You have to sleep.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
sleep screams for me over the murur of my nearly empty drink. I must conclude.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
*murmur
Amy says:
ok sweets. I should go to bed too. Dr appt in the morning. Fun!
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
indeed. Till tomorrow's events then.
Amy says:
Yes. Sleep well...I'll be dreaming of fireflies most likely.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
i will. I want to have a lucid dream, so I'll be shooting for that.
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
you too
Amy says:
good luck with that...night night
Ricky Ticky Charlie says:
goodnight.